For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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