you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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