she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He felt like a one man threesome
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
