Don't make out with my wife yet
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
