i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
