I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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