If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
