Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
