do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
