i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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