areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i dont even know how to be here
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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