i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
