You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
