Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
