I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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