I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
