It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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