butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
