so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
