oh god the rape fog is back!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
