I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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