put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just gift wrapped bread.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i think im in europe. pls send help
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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