She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
