rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
