You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
