the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
