So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
