So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
