I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
