I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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