I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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