imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
