I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't believe i had my finger in that
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
