Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
