I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
