Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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