I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
