that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
