I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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