You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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