I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
