He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
