i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
