dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
