He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
