none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
