When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
