something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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