Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
