So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
