She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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