1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
